“My greatest regret in life is being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing… Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out, I was throwing it away.”

— Mark Buchanan

These words cut through me like a knife.

Because that’s me. And I’d be willing to bet it’s you too.

Every day is a race to get to the finish line, except there is no finish line.

The fires never stop. You’ve got a family who needs you, employees counting on you, clients demanding things, and your own list of 100 things you haven’t touched yet today.

Truth is though part of you kind of likes it. Because even though the hamster wheel is exhausting, at least you feel like you matter and that you’re winning.

But underneath all of that, if you’re honest, you’re exhausted. And it’s not something you can fix by getting more done.

A Thousand Broken and Missed Things

Think about yesterday.

Your kid tried to show you something and you were short and snapped at them for interrupting you. Your spouse said something and you heard the words but you were already three steps ahead with some issue at work. You sat at the dinner table and your body was there but you weren’t.

Buchanan says a thousand broken and missed things lie in the wake of all the rushing. Thousands of moments with the people you love most, gone. Why? Because you were in a rush to get somewhere else.

And for what?! To check one more thing off your impossible list of to do’s? You’re so focused on your tasks and getting stuff done that you’re MISSING what’s in front of you.

It’s that voice inside you that says “I should be doing something right now. What can I get done in the next 75 seconds so I don’t waste this time?”

It’s that insatiable drive to produce.

And the guilt you feel when you’re not being productive.

It’s that inability to sit still.

There’s something deeper driving that voice. And until you understand what’s actually underneath all the hustle, you’ll keep running the same race and wondering why you feel so empty when you finally stop.

So Where Do We Go from Here?

This is part one of a five-part series called Intense Presence.

Part two is about what happens when you rush past the most important thing in your life every single day without realizing it. And what it actually takes to be transformed from the inside out.

Part three gets underneath the hustle and looks at what’s actually driving it.

Part four is about the time I flew to London for an event and was told I couldn’t attend it. Being forced to wander a city with no agenda was one of the most uncomfortable and clarifying things I’ve ever done.

Part five tackles the fear you’re probably already feeling: that slowing down will cost you your edge. That presence and intensity can’t coexist. That’s the one I’m most excited to get to.

One Simple Step to Being Present Tonight with Your Family

Tonight, before you walk in the door at home, sit in your car for three minutes.

Don’t check your phone, don’t mentally run through tomorrow. Just sit, take a breath, and ask yourself: who’s on the other side of that door that I actually want to SEE tonight?

Three minutes.

Embarrassingly, I want you to notice how hard that is.

The pull you feel to grab your phone or squeeze one more text, email, or phone call out of your day is exactly what this series is about.